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Path of Drug Addiction
Michael, 43, was involuntarily admitted to the hospital
for treatment of polysubstance abuse. He was frail looking, his
body depleted and sickly-appearing due to years of drug abuse.
Michael reported an extensive history of drug treatment for heroin
addiction , which to date had achieved little success. Michael
outwardly admitted that he was ambivalent about discontinuing
his drug habits.
Once given the instruction to draw a road, Michael engaged
the image-making process without hesitation. He employed the
paper in a horizontal format, suggesting that his drawing is
a story that reads from left to right. Michael employed crayons,
a controlled and predictable art medium, attesting to his necessity
for control. This seemed in marked contrast to his apparent lack
of control over his heroin addiction.
Michael's road drawing revealed much about his submerged
unconscious processes, experiences to date and grave premonitions
regarding his future. The road originates in the west portion
of the paper, travels north, and leads to a "T" intersection
in the east portion of the paper. Impeded by hazard signs reading
"DEAD END", the road reverts back to its origins only
to be opposed by another "DEAD END" sign. After completing
its circular course, the road narrows to a single line suggesting
"burnout" or that Michael's life force is dwindling
away. There is a sense of hopelessness and futility as Michael's
alternative paths and return journey end at signs declaring "DEAD
END". Several yellow hazard signs are an apparent attempt
to warn himself of the impending danger should he choose to continue
with the same course and action. The "T" intersection
implies ambivalence toward an alternative or decision. Presumably,
it is his hesitance toward relinquishing his drug addiction.
Michael believes his options are limited, as both his alternative
routes are blocked and his journey brings him in full circle.
I held the paper at a distance and rotated the image to
adjacent sides while encouraging Michael to discover any resemblance
of an image or form. Michael was astonished to recognize his
road as a large "heart-shaped syringe". He laughed
as he boasted, "Drugs are my true love! Unlike women, I
can always count on it to be there for me". The heart is
pink with a yellowish center, possibly attesting to his intense
neediness and "love" for heroin. Malchiodi (1990) related
heart-shaped imagery to an intense necessity for nurturance.
Therefore, Michael's "heart-shaped syringe" and spontaneous
associations allude to his attempts to substitute heroin for
his lack of nurturing. His inability to soothe himself has led
him to use drugs as a synthetic pacifier. Michael's use of color
may also indicate he feels "in the pink" when experiencing
the mind-altering effects of heroin. Michael's black road with
yellow center lines resembles arteries or veins that transport
the heroin throughout his body.
Michael uses red oil based pastel to write the words "ONE
WAY IN - ONE WAY OUT", suggesting that his dichotomous thinking
does not recognize a middle ground, but insists on an "all
or nothing" attitude. Such polarized thinking is also visible
in his depiction of a sunny blue sky in the west, which is juxtaposed
by the dark brown mountain in the north and the pale yellow-green
grass in the south. Michael's choice of colors may reveal his
struggle between his nourished and healthy self (brown) and his
weak, fading self (pale yellow-green) (Furth, 1988).
Michael's use of red to write the words "ONE WAY IN
- ONE WAY OUT" alerts the viewer and denotes the impression
of importance, danger and possibly illness (Furth, 1988). Often,
words appearing in graphic material may be the client's attempt
to draw the therapist's attention to something he/she wishes
to address (Case & Dalley, 1992). Asked to elaborate on his
written phrase, Michael stated, "I've always used drugs
and I'll go out on drugs." His statement conveys a reluctance
to change his self-destructive practices. Michael's drawing includes
several images that suggest impending death: the sun departing
in the west (Bertoia, 1993); the tapering and fading road; the
"DEAD END" signs; and the fatalistic implications of
the phrase "ONE WAY IN - ONE WAY OUT". In addition,
Michael's road reverts back to its origins, possible representing
the cycle of life.
While hospitalized, Michael's road drawing was instrumental
in helping him to recognized the self-destructive effects of
his addictions. His drawing revealed feelings of helplessness,
futility, and his dwindling life force. Michael's road drawing
was visible proof of his love for heroin. His road drawing also
revealed his dichotomous thinking, which does not recognize a
middle ground but insists on an "all or nothing" attitude.
Michael's road drawing portrayed his experiences to date
and his intent for the future, which predicted self-destruction
and relapse should he continue on his same path and course. Michael
seemed overwhelmed by the drawing's sense of hopelessness and
pessimism. I reminded him of the road's reparative potential
and his capability to construct new paths. Michael smiled and
nodded his head in agreement. Unfortunately, Michael was unable
to resolve his indecisiveness and his intense need for heroin,
hence he returned to his addictive practice shortly after being
discharged from the hospital. |